I fight for mankind
My civil rights bona fides go back for years and I challenge anyone to go toe to toe with me on empathy for my fellow man. Life is tough, and the curveballs it throws some of us can be quite different from what others among us face.
I've been there for the downtrodden; I give to the poor; I've advocated for the unjustly accused; I've personally sought to liberate those under the heel of discrimination; and I've led the war on clowns.
...because the bastards just keep showing up...
The organisers of a rock festival have abandoned a circus theme for the event after complaints from people suffering from a fear of clowns.
Would-be festival-goers e-mailed to say they would not attend because they suffered from coulrophobia.
Let's be clear about one thing: We all love the circus. It's as wholesome as the day is long.
But whoever started the insidious tradition of inviting these freaky painted evil goons into a celebration of humanity and furry creatures surely intended to undermine western civilization, and I for one will not permit it. Here I draw the line. Here, I take my stand.
Some may argue for inclusion. Not I.
I say, I am a humanitarian. I don't want the people to suffer from the uncertainty and fear. I don't want the children to suffer nightmares. I die a little each day for those who must confront the evil clowns. That's how much I care.
All I want is a circus with little midget guys and trained animals and contortionists and carnies like the Founding Fathers intended - and I want the conspiracy of clowns BUSTED, people.
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