Marriage & Intrinsic Gender Differences
I just finished reading a great column by Michael Medved on the issue of same-sex "marriage" and the intrinsic differences between men and women. Medved's piece is concise, well reasoned and articulates the principles I think many of us here at NOVA TownHall have been grappling with for a few months nowâ€¦ definitely worth a read. Here is a good seized excerpt:
If, then, society has achieved a new consensus -- near unanimity, in fact-- on the issue of the significance of gender differences, it ought to be possible to reach more widespread agreement on key elements of the same sex marriage debate. If men and women remain irreducibly different, itâ€™s dishonest to suggest that marrying a man is the precise equivalent of marrying a woman. That doesnâ€™t mean that a male-male relationship is evil, or decadent, or doomed, but it does mean that itâ€™s hugely, inarguably different in its very essence from a male-female relationship --- or, for that matter, from a female-female relationship. Man-woman connections involve a fusion of opposites in a primal, elemental way that same sex associations canâ€™t replicate. You may believe that this binding of the two genders is no better â€“ or perhaps even less beneficial â€“ than a connection between two people of the same sex, but no honest observer can maintain that homosexual and heterosexual relationships are indistinguishable or interchangeable. The endlessly repeated argument of gay union advocates that â€œwe donâ€™t want to change the institution of marriage, we want to expand the institution of marriageâ€ is deceitful on its face. Of course the expansion of matrimony to include same sex couples involves a huge alteration in the long-standing definition of marital dynamics. It requires the abandonment of the timeless notion that bringing male-and-female together in intimacy achieves special power not just because of the reproductive potential but because of the combination of two vastly different genders. A love between people of the same gender may be beautiful, sentimental, even noble, but itâ€™s not he same thing as the union of male-and female. The basis of the natural family has always arisen from the idea of a â€œMarriage of Oppositesâ€ â€“ and that phrase serves as the title of the forthcoming book by my own better half, psychologist and author Dr. Diane Medved.
This recognition answers one more of the constantly invoked arguments of the activists who seek to redefine marriage. â€œWhy is it a threat to your marriage,â€ they ask, â€œif the government gives similar recognition to the marriage of two guys or two women in gay relationships?â€
The response ought to be obvious: the problem with gay marriage isnâ€™t that it harms my marriage, or yours, but that it changes the institution of marriage â€“ for my children, my grandchildren, and all future generations. It downplays the essential, irrevocable nature of gender differences â€“ and serves to undermine the crucial importance of gender specific roles in all relationships. A gay couple might claim that they fill distinctive roles in their relationship â€“ with one woman working hard to support the family, for instance, while the other cooks and decorates and nourishes the kids. But choosing complementary roles for the sake of convenience or preference isnâ€™t the same as recognizing that these contrasting approaches arise from your very essence as a man or a woman. Thereâ€™s something arbitrary, synthetic and, indeed, temporary about a same sex couple attempting to imitate a heterosexual marriage by fulfilling distinct responsibilities in the relationship.
If you, like many of us here and across Virginia, agree with Medvedâ€™s above points and believe that marriage is the union of one-man and one-woman and no child should be willfully denied a mother or a fatherâ€¦ then get out there and support the Marriage Amendment! You can sign-up to do so here.
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