Major, Mega Excitement

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If you are not already sitting please do so now, before you read any further about what I have to disclose, because I cannot be held responsible for you falling down and cracking your head open from the sheer unbelievability of the following news:

"Soccer" player David Beckham is coming to America to play the "game." Notwithstanding the fact he was apparently sitting on the bench in Europe, while his teammates were running up and down the field in pursuit of the ever elusive 1-1 tie score, he will be paid $1 million per week here.

More than anything, this is reassuring evidence the United States is a really prosperous society, to the point of ridiculous wastefulness.

In related news, noted bonsai expert Steve Choi invites all Americans to visit his garden in Maryland where you get to watch trees.

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Kevin said:

No way, man, that bonsai link is dead.

Whoops, my bad. Thanks, Kevin!

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